Bew

This week has been a crappy week...and it's only Wednesday! BLAH.

One of my friend passed away on Monday morning. She had been battling leukemia for 2 years but she was getting better!! She really was! She was suppose to attend a seminar with us on Saturday but she went to the hospital feeling really ill and then...Monday morning, gone :( I was so sad when I found out.

I've only became friends with her since September. We were in the same group in BSF. She had such a positive attitude and she LOVES Jesus. I don't necessary think the word "Jesus Freak" is a good description of Christians, but if there is any good out of that word then Annie is it. She loves God so much, despite her circumstances- her health and personal concerns, she never forget to give thanks to the Lord. She knows that her life on earth is only temporary and she always looks forward to going home. How often do you think about "going home"?

I realized that I don't think about the Lord's coming that often. I get so caught up with *MY* daily schedule, *MY* plans, and *MY* desires that I don't often look up...take a moment...and ask God, "God, what is *YOUR* prayer for me? What do *YOU* want me to do today/ tomorrow/ right now? What is *YOUR* desire for me, Lord?" etc...

Life is short. Annie is in her early 30's! You live, and then you die.

But when you still live, what will you do?

Annie certainly made an impact in the lives of many. Her dad found Jesus, her mom heard the Good News, and her friends (myself included) was blessed having her as a friend. How can someone who is going through so much be so positive? Be so happy? Be so thankful?

I remember over winter break when Annie finally came home after spending months in the hospital. All she wanted to do was for her friends to come visit her and worship God. So, that's what we did. We all went to her house and sang worship songs, prayed, cried, and laughed. It was amazing. Annie wasn't able to talk much because she was still weak but seeing her worship really touched me. Would I be the same way if I was in her situation? Would I be giving God thanks? Would I want to do that on my first couple nights out of the hospital? 

On Monday night, we had a moment of silent for Annie. They put up a slide of her- a picture and the last words she had written on her facebook. It was about how she is excited to go home and her desire for her loved ones to know Jesus and for them to realize that having Jesus is the happiest feeling one can experience in their lives.

What will people put on my slide as my last words?

I'm going skydiving on Saturday and honestly I was not scared at all...until I thought of that. What if I don't make it when I skydived. What will my last words be? :( Yes, I will be going home. But will I have made an impact on earth? Wouldn't my life be wasted if I went home but I didn't bring anyone else with me?

:(

There is no excuse for me to not progress in my spiritual growth and sanctification (being more like Christ). As a Christian, I MUST be growing and not only to stand alone in my faith in Christ, but to help others as well. Let this be my reminder (as well as yours) that we are to work together to encourage and lift one another up. To grow in our confidence in our salvation, in the knowledge of God's truth and eternal love.

Rest in peace, Annie.